My friends and I decide to take a cruse for the last days together before we went off to college. We packed up our bags and were off on massive ship our destination was the Disney island. The first day was so much fun playing in the arcades and then swimming. It was not until the 2nd day when things change. The Disney ship which we were was highjack by pirates. We didn't know what to do everyone was screaming . Once the pirates all got on board then round up all the passengers and took us to the one part of the boat where I never knew existed. I looked for my best friend KIm to see where she was I asked her what she thought they were going to do with us. She said " be quiet Cherise before you give them ideals". Then I asked her where was our other friend Jenny. No one knew where she was.
To be continue............
"Once the pirates all got on board then round up all the passengers and took us to the one part of the boat where I never knew existed"..... that sentence is wrong it should be "Once all the pirates got on board, they round up the passengers and took us to a part of the boat I never knew existed"
ReplyDeleteYou should probably correct that part when I said, "I looked for my best friend KIm to see where she was I asked her what she thought they were going to do with us. She said " be quiet Cherise before you give them ideals". It should be like "I turned to look for my best friend, Kimberly. Once I found her, I asked her what do you think they are going to do to us. She reply by saying, "Be quiet, Cherise. Lets not give them any ideas..." smething like that.
ReplyDeleteI think you meant a cruise Lol not a cruse...but the story was very creative, I esp. liked the "to be continued..." nice touch(and smart too).
ReplyDelete